Chronicle (2012) ****

First off, I would just like to say that I am not a fan of the documentary styled genres or ‘Found footage” films, with the shaky cameras and the heavy breathing.  It’s just not my cup of tea.  The exception being Cloverfield and District 9 of course.  Chronicle can now be added to that list.

Chronicle is the literally the recording (via handheld camera) of and by a socially outcast teenager and his supernatural experiences with his eventual friends.  That something supernatural is never actually explained, and it is left up to the audience to figure it out… or not.  Let’s face it, in reality, we never truly get the answers we are looking for either.  Think of it as a twist on the super hero genre… with very little emphasis on the hero.

Chronicle is narrated for the majority by Dane Dehaan’s Andrew.  And by narrated, I mean talking, or not talking to the camera.  It might as well be an extension of himself, another limb if you will. 

Then he, his cousin (Alex Russell’s Matt) and friend (Michael B. Jordan’s Steve) discover whatever this supernatural entity is.   After acquiring some strange abilities of their own, in time the boys also start sharing the same camera to record their thoughts and feelings too, thus beginning a bond so strong that eventually they start sensing each other’s feelings.  The camera also captures how their powers evolve and in turn, captures how they as people evolve with these gifts.  Or rather, how they gradually decline.  Andrew’s decline in to tragic disaster is the worst.

One thing we learn from Chronicle, is that bullying is still rife.  And for some, like Andrew, there is no way to turn.  By the time he has some semblance of a support system, he has already been damaged beyond help.  Chronicle showed us one possible outcome of bullying albeit with a supernatural twist.  But there really was no difference between what Andrew does in the final act and what happens when a damaged teen is given a gun.  In every scenario you can think of, many lives are destroyed.

Above all the many lessons Chronicle teaches, whether intentional or not, is that with great power comes great responsibility.  Matt is the first to realise that responsibility. However, with an abusive father (Michael Kelly) and a terminally ill mother (Bo Petersen) and the various bullies at school, Andrew was bound to abuse his powers eventually.  And from the moment he does, we all know he’s doomed.  What we don’t know is whether Matt and Steve are will also join in his fate.

In conclusion, Chronicle will depress you.  But it will also inform and keep you on the edge of your seats.  In short, go see this if you’re broad minded and want something different.  Don’t go see it if you can’t handle depression.

The Artist (2012) *****

The words outstandingly superb come to mind after watching something so elegant and heart-wrenching..  Because one word of praise just isn’t enough.

The Artist in question is George Valentin (the phenomenal Jean Dujardin).  He is the fictional super star of the Silent era.  Along with his dog (also brilliant and adorable to boot), they shine the brightest amongst their peers. 

Shot almost entirely as a silent motion picture this is Valentin’s story of tragic decline to almost obscurity (because being recognised just isn’t enough when you were once the brightest of stars) and how the two loves of his life bringing him back from the brink of pretty much everything.  The first is the dog and the second, Berenice Bejo’s Peppy Miller.

You almost believe you’re back in the 1920s and 1930s, save for a few familiar faces… and the ladies figures (nothing anyone can do about that and it has no bearing on the film, but it’s glaringly obvious that the likes of Bejo and Missi Pyle do not belong physically).

So, Peppy Miller is just that – Peppy.  And sometimes you just want to smack her because of that.  She is discovered quite literally by accident by our hero Valentin.  Cue instant sparkage.  From there, she follows in her hero’s footsteps, rising in the ranks of the acting world as Valentin declines.

First he loses his job, courtesy of John Goodman’s pompous producer, who’s decided the new era of talkies needs fresh meat.  As Peppy Miller says, or rather subtitles “the old make way for the new.”  Then Valentin loses his loveless marriage to Penelope Ann-Miller and ultimately his dignity.

Ludovic Bource’s score should be considered a star in its own right.  Beautiful in it’s telling of the emotions to partner the visual aspects.  How else is one to know that the characters aren’t being funny, but are masking their pain in self-mockery?  Something clearly not understood by the audience I watched with.  Reading what the characters are saying without listening or feeling the emotive music will make you miss the true meaning of what they are trying to convey. 

Everything about The Artist is truly masterful – a modern masterpiece paying homage to an art from an era long gone.

Everyone was perfectly cast.  From Goodman’s obnoxious producer, James Cromwell’s loyal chauffeur to Missi Pyle’s ludicrous silent star. 

That all said, I couldn’t help thinking of Gene Kelly throughout.  Jean Dujardin looked exactly like him.  He even acted like him – the mannerisms were uncanny!

Thinking of Dujardin as Gene Kelly ultimately led me down the ‘Singin’ in the Rain’ path.  The stories are very similar.  A silent star almost fades away due to an inability to transition to the talkies.  A woman comes along to the aid of said star (albeit Peppy was much more important.  And together they usher in the wonderful era of the musicals. 

Dujardin’s dancing was impeccable!  If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn it was Kelly himself tap-dancing away!  It even had the talentless blonde star along with the showing of her ridiculous transition.

But don’t let the similarities put you off, if you are not a fan of musicals.  The Artist is not a musical.  And has a lot more depth to the characters and what they go through… the despair they feel.

The Artist deserves an Oscar and every accolade imaginable.  I would watch it multiple times, would it not drain my finances… so I’ll just have to wait for the DVD just for that. 

Haywire (2012) ***

Where to begin?  I wish I could say I was bowled over as I had such high expectations.  But alas, not quite.

It wasn’t bad per say, just lacking in terms of direction.  To sum it up, they were trying to be clever, but they couldn’t pull it off.  Maybe, in fact, I know if it had just being a straight forward action film, with no twist and turns, Haywire would have been phenomenal. 

With the likes of Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregor, Bill Paxton, Channing Tatum and the rising star of Michael Fassbender, you’d think Steven Soderbergh would have delivered something exceptional.

Anways, Haywire is a pretty good title and does sum it up in one go.  Gina Carano’s Mallory Kane is a black ops super soldier, who’s betrayed by her employers. 

Mallory works as part of an Independent contractor, under the supervision of Ewan McGregor’s Kenneth who also happens to be a former lover.  Ironically, she’s in demand by her own Government.  Michael Douglas plays the shady government type.  Antonio Banderas is part of this hiring in some way too.

Her team, including Channing Tatum is tasked to retrieve a hostage.  Everything goes swimmingly and Mallory returns home, job well done. 

Then she’s asked by creepy Kenneth to go on a mission to Dublin and all she has to do is be eye-candy, hanging on the arm of the swoon-worthy Michael Fassbender.  After all, he’s doing all the work, right?  Fantastic! Until the ever astute Mallory smells something fishy with old Fassbender. 

I must say, it takes an awfully cool person to make me cheer on someone who kicks Fassbender around like that (I’ve been following him for the better part of ten years).  And he does get smacked around quite a bit… and then killed (he started it!).  And that is the start of Mallory’s headache.  Because she’s framed for a number of killings – most of them in self-defence. 

This would’ve been the perfect time for a continuous display of her action prowess.  Because to put it frankly, she’s quite awesome.  A perfect opportunity missed.

Her kidnapping of her knight in shining armour though, provides some amusement (Michael Angarano – remember him from Sky High?).  Though in the end, it really wasn’t necessary. 

Michael Douglas seems to be playing both sides.  No one’s quite sure which side he’s on until the end.  Like most Government officials, he’s on his own side.

Antonio Banderas confused me.  Though he did make for an excellent sleezebag. 

Channing Tatum in my opinion, was just man-candy, though he did have a cool action scene with Gina Carano. 

And Bill Paxton was adequate as Mallory’s father.  Another missed opportunity for fleshing out an important character.

Now for Carano.  She’s not a bad actress, not bad to look at either.  And it’s really not her fault her talents weren’t utilised constructively.  Perhaps if Sylvester Stallone had directed… Obviously, he knows the action business better than anyone.  And he’s proved to be quite competent in his field.  I know one thing, he would’ve definitely delivered a better ending.  One that didn’t look like it was shot in five minutes.

Either way, Carano is an action star to look forward to.  She not only looks the part, but delivers.  A rarity… can you think of a woman on the same level as the likes of Sly himself, Schwarzenegger or Jason Statham?  That looks good too?

How about a part for her in Expendable 3?

One last thing.  It was nice to see J.J. Perry again.  I recognised his work (he’s the fight choreographer), but unfortunately after 14 years of not seeing him anywhere, did not recognise him in his fleeting combat scene.  One can only fantasise about what could happen if he went up against Carano in a less restrained environment.  Total Carnage! 

By the way, if you’re wondering why I’m focusing on the fight choreographer, it’s because he's awesome… and he was Sub Zero in Mortal Kombat: Conquest.

So folks, to conclude.  The fight scenes were awesome.  The film was a little confusing.  Gina Carano could kill you with that death stare of hers and wait for a t.v. showing of this.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

First off, I would just like to say that I have not seen the original version of this film.  And I'm glad I did not because I would never have thought as highly of this version as I would the original had I done so.  I made the mistake of seeing 'Let the Right One In' a few months ago, which solidified my decision on never watching an original before a remake.

With that out of the way, I'd like to say that this version was brilliant.  There was never a dull moment.  A few squeamish ones... but those were necessary for the development of the characters involved.

We begin with disgraced journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) being hired by Christopher Plummer's Henrik Vanger to investigate the murder of his beloved grand-niece Harriet.  Harriet mysteriously vanished 40 years ago.

Craig is perfect in his role as a (in my opinion) slightly weak but intelligent and occasionally funny investigator.
Plummer's Vanger, though seems to have the best lines.  He gives Blomkvist a who's who of the Vanger family along with their history - which is not pretty.  We discover through him that they all live on this same island.  None of them really talk to each other.  And they all live a stone's throw away from each other.  We also discover that they had / have not one, but two Nazis.  The discovery should be sobering, but Vanger's matter of fact description of the vulgar men will leave you sniggering.  In his own words Blomkvist will discover "the most detestable people... and they're all my family."  Plummer is hilarious in a sad, perpetually troubled and broken way, living only to discover what really happened.  And he's sure one of his clan is responsible.

Soon Blomkvist realises that he can't actually solve a 40-year old mystery on his own.  And so, he is aided by "The girl with the Dragon Tatto" - Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara).  Lisbeth is a heartbreakingly damaged soul - one covered with piercings and tattoos.  She also happens to be highly intelligent and a computer hacker.  She is also a ward of the state.  Lisbeth's life is unbearably miserable with what she has to do to get financial support though the money is rightfully hers.

The scenes in this film are brutal and not for the faint-hearted.  They are however necessary to show how Lisbeth gets to where she is later in the story.  And she does exact her own brutal revenge.

It does feel like there there is a lot of emphasis on rape.  Extremely disturbing though it is, I guess the only way to look at it is to go with why it's there - a spotlight on the vulnerable who will not or think they will not be believed.  And it does happen.

However, I'll still say it's a brilliant movie aided by the likes of the brilliant Stellan Skarsgard, Joely Richardson, Robin Wright, Geraldine James and Goran Visnjic.  You won't see any of it coming!  Unless, of course you've read the books and / or seen the original trilogy.

I do have one more petty item that very few will agree on, but I'm going to say it anyway.  What on Earth have they done to the superb Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song?!

Still a fantastic movie though...

Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol (2011) ****

What can I say? I loved this latest instalment of the Impossible series!

I was literally on the edge of my seat for the majority of it and laughing my bum off for the rest!  

Tom Cruise still has it as Ethan Hunt and Ghost Protocol proves it.

Joining him on this most recent mission are Simon Pegg's Benji, Paula Patton's Jane Carter and slightly later on Jeremy Renner's Brandt.  They're up against the loony Michael Nyqvist's terrorist Hendricks.  He is a complete headcase whose warped sense of bringing about world peace involves bringing about a nuclear war.

Unfortunately for the IMF team, Hendricks is an extremely intelligent headcase who's always one step ahead of them.  

Hendricks frames the team for a destructive attack on the Kremlin, leaving the President to invoke Ghost Protocol.  So basically, they're on their own, with no back up as IMF "never" existed.  From here on, it just gets crazier as Hunt leads his team on a death-defying race to stop Hendricks from unleashing Armageddon.  Cue action packed sequences with Hunt doing most of the death defying bits.  One of the most breath-taking scenes occurs in Dubai.  I literally held my breath and almost fell off my seat.

Jeremy Renner is the twist.  Spoiler alert!

I spent half the movie shaking my head every time he showed up, asking myself, why on Earth would they cast Renner as just a geek when he clearly had the presence of so much more i.e. on par with Cruise’s Agent Hunt.  Although he could be highly amusing bouncing off the hysterical Pegg.  In short, they complemented each other rather well.  And when we found out Renner’s Brandt is not just a geek, it gets more exciting and increasingly funny as Benji and Brandt’s respective geek and action jock enter into their own action escapade.

Let’s not forget Paula Patton’s Agent Carter.  She has a personal mission of her own.  Once she has taken care of business, she’s off to deal with the side-splittingly creepy, Brij Nath (Bollywood’s very own Anil Kapoor).

All this leads to the ultimate fight scenes.  That’s right, there are two of them at the same time!

I’ll say this, I’d love Tom Cruise to continue with the Impossible missions.  And the way Ghost Protocol ended, it’s perfect for another sequel!  One that I insist must include Pegg and Renner (or at least Pegg, Renner’s rising star might mean he’s to busy to play side-kick)!

And my only gripe?  Yes, I know it’s petty and childish, but I would have loved more of Josh Holloway.  Remember him from Lost (he played the swoon-worthy Sawyer)? Well, in the short time we had him, he proved that he is capable of handling an action movie.  Maybe he should get his own… just a thought.

New Year's Eve (2011) **

I don't know where to begin with this... atrocity?  That's the first descriptive word that comes to mind.
Gary Marshall, who usually delivers excellent chick flicks, has for some reason decided to punish us with this... thing.  A very forced, not very funny (generally speaking) and occasionally excruciating thing.  There were times where I had to close my eyes really tight and pretend I was somewhere else (my preference was Immortals-verse) mostly when Lea Michele was on screen.  I especially cannot stand her face when she sings.

So, for those of you that loved (or just liked in my case) Valentine's Day, the returning actors and actresses play completely different roles.  This offering has nothing to do with Valentine's Day.

I'll start with the stories/characters I hated/disliked the most.

Ashton Kutcher's depressed, New Year's hater, gets stuck in an elevator with Lea Michele.  So any excuse for Lea Michele to sing.  Boring! Unless you are a Glee fan that is... in which case *thumbs up* awesome!

Hilary Swank almost screws up New Year's for the entire world by not dropping "the ball!"
I just think Swank is suited to the serious roles/movies and she excels at that during the more serious aspects of her story.  Otherwise, it just looks like she's constipated most of the time.  She cannot do airy, sweet roles.

Katherine Heigl is messing with Jon Bon Jovi's head.  He had apparently dumped her the previous New Year's Eve.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Elsewhere, Sarah Jessica Parker is trying to stop her rebellious teen (Abigail Breslin) from attending the New Year's event in New York City alone.  Ok, that last one was a good story, had they just left SJP there.

Josh Duhammel (who really should have been paired with his When in Rome co-star, Kristen Bell.  It's a travesty she wasn't in it.  Would have enjoyed it a lot more.) is contemplating whether to meet last year's mystery lady.

Now for my likes / favourites.  Robert DeNiro was sweet, sad and just beautiful especially as his cancer riddled character deteriorated.  Keep the tissues handy for this one.

The excellent Michelle Pfeiffer is working to honour every last one of her previous resolutions with the aid of the increasingly talented Zac Effron (never thought I'd say that!), both of whom, hilariously stay in character throughout the outtakes.

The pregnancy story involves two expecting couples.  One couple is played by Jessica Biel and Seth Meyers. And the other is played by the hilarious Til Schweiger and Sarah Paulson.  Both continuously harass Carla Gugino to induce the births of their children to coincide with the New Year, so that they can win some cash.
Cue insanity... which Til Schweiger excels at.

Speaking of fun crazy... Sofia Vergara with a little help from a very Indian Russell Peters steals the entire movie whenever they deign to let her show up, completely upstaging both Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi.  She made me fall in love with her!

And finally, our Gary Marshall favourites.  Hector Elizondo and Larry Miller... both hysterical and both cruelly relegated to the background.  In fact, some of the best characters were relegated to just that.  Which is ridiculous as they were the ones that provided the most warmth and laughter.

So folks, if you want to waste your money, go ahead and watch.  Or, if you have patience and still want to waste your time, wait until it's shown on tv.

Arthur Christmas (2011) ***

Arthur Christmas, if you haven’t guessed (i.e. if you live under a very large rock) is definitely for children and the family.  Of course, if you happen to be like me, having an inner child that never grows up and loves Christmas, you’ll enjoy this.

It’s premise is simple enough.  Santa has forgotten a child from his list! And a nice child at that too!

Santa, being Malcolm Christmas (Jim Broadbent), descendant of St. Nicholas.

The current Santa is getting on a bit, so he relies on his eldest son, Steve (Hugh Laurie), whom one would assume was once trained by the military… and a grumpy puss.  Steve is also next in line to be Santa, once the current one retires… or so Steve hopes.  Santa, on the other hand may have other ideas.

Steve’s idea of a sleigh is what one can only describe as a giant red spaceship, the aptly named S-1 (does that stand for Santa or Steve, I wonder?).  The giant red spaceship, sorry, S-1 is in turn navigated by an insane number of elves.

Back to the story, Steve doesn’t care Santa has forgotten a child, after all, it is only one child out of billions.  So he convinces Santa to ignore it and go to sleep. 

So it’s up to Santa’s youngest son – Arthur (James McAvoy) to save Christmas for one special little girl – Gwen.  Arthur is the butt of everyone’s jokes.  He’s clumsy, gets in the way and just cares too much.  He also happens to be the one replying to all the children’s letters.  And he hero-worships his father.  Which basically means he’ll never succeed right?  Especially when he has his lunatic Grandfather – GrandSanta (a hysterical, scene stealing Bill Nighy), an elf specialising in wrapping – Briony (Ashley Jensen) and the descendents of the original Reindeers (dunb, but beautiful creatures) helping him. Oh, I forgot Evie, the real sleigh (in my opinion at least).

And they have to achieve this all in secret before little Gwen wakes!

Will Arthur save Christmas for one little girl?  

Will Santa retire?  

Will Steve inherit the family business? 

Or will GrandSanta rule the day once more, along with his beloved Evie?

You'll have to watch and see.