Dashing heroes, damsels in distress, campy villains, and equally campy femme fatales and Jar Jar Binks... okay, fine - maybe not Jar Jar Binks but definitely his equal (that's me being nice). This is a great swashbuckler, paying homage to the likes of the silver screened swashbucklers of old...! And the animated series (it was a most awesome show)!
Our three musketeers, aided by baby musketeer - D'Artagnan must come to the rescue of intelligent and noble, but very young Queen Anne, whilst also ensuring France does not descend in to the hands of the dastardly Richelieu, whilst also in turn trying to best arch rival Buckhingham (boo hiss) and outwit cunning, yet beautiful Milady (a double agent for both France and England). And on top of it all, they have to pander to the lovable but childlike King Louis XIII!
All-in-all, a very big job for our heroes... can they manage it?
Well, they don't get off to a good start. After being betrayed by Milady (a very camp Milla Jovovich), Athos, Porthos and Aramis (Matthew MacFadyen, Ray Stevenson and Luke Evans) are leading a sedate life of drunkeness - Athos is a self confessed drunk, vanity and ticket dispensing). Aramis would later put it as being "warriors without a cause." Basically, they're miserable. Until the young D'Artagnan comes along... and decides he must kill all three to teach them a lesson. That is until he spies Rochefort (Mads Mikkelsen), the man who insulted his horse.
D'Artagnan sparks that fire back in to the three musketeers lives, leading them on a mission to save Queen Anne (Juno Temple) from the power hungry Richelieu (Christophe Waltz). Richelieu has decided he wants to get rid of "these royal children," as they constantly go against his advice. Basically, he's upset King Louis XIII didn't scold the musketeers after making his guards look bad in a skirmish (4 musketeers against 40 inept gurads). So, he's asked Milady to frame the Queen as a love cheat by stealing her diamonds (a gift from King Louis) and stash them away secretly in fashion-obsessed Buckingham's (a very very hammy Orlando Bloom) secret vault, thereby also framing him. So, the Queen will be executed, France will go to war and the inept King will be overthrown. Well, Richelieu did not factor in our heroes.
Cue double crossings, triple crossings and crossings I've never even heard of! An adventure across the skies!
Each character of the story will have you hooked and most will have you rolling around in stitches. Each character accept D'Artagnan's love interest. Gabriella Wilde's Constance is very pretty to look at, but her deliverance of some of her cringe worthy lines were just awful. It would have been better to have given her minimal lines and just make her part of the scenery... not that she had a major role to begin with. And let's not forget the Musketeers very own Jar Jar Binks a.k.a James Corden and his character Planchet. Yes you get a few laughs the first time you watch it, but the second time is just too irritating to comprehend. He might not have been so bad if they had cut some of his lines and his scenes... or maybe all his scenes.
But don't let them discourage you. What made this fun to watch was that every actor and actress seemed to enjoy every second of playing their character. Orlando Bloom and Milla Jovovich stood out the most in their hysterical hammy portrayals.
This is a fantastic movie for a family outing or just something to watch with a few friends. Because that is what it's target audience is, the family. Or for young girls who like their pretty boys. They could have made The Three Musketeers even better had they factored in another target audience... the older female (though I am only 26). Luke Evan's Aramis is the one that caught my attention. He reminded me of a modern day Tyrone Power combined with Orlando Bloom's pirate Will Turner.
Though my friend preferred Ray Stevenson's hilarious Porthos. And I'm sure someone out there fell in love with Athos. I almost did.
Nevertheless, if you want an adventure to share... this is something you should put at the top of your list.
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