Immortals (2011) *****

Immortals is a true epic.  An epic of awesomeness... something few modern epics can achieve.  It was the perfect blend of vintage epic with a modern twist.  Tarsem Singh has managed to create just the right balance of both, appealing to multiple generations by not mocking what came before but embracing it unlike, for example, Clash of the Titans.

Immortals is a story based on the myth of Theseus (Henry Cavill) who is chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) to lead the humans against the incredibly barabaric King Hyperion (Mickey Rourke). 

King Hyperion you see, has gotten it into his head that by releasing the Titans he can not only conquer (or destroy?) humanity but also annihilate the Gods (includes Isabel Lucas as Athena, Kellan Lutz as Poseidon and Daniel Sherman as Ares – I prefer the this verion of the name as opposed to Aries).  To achieve this feat he’ll need the Epirus Bow – forged by Ares (shouldn’t it have been Hephaestus?) it is the only thing that can release the Titans who are in turn the only things that can kill the Gods.

Unfortunately, for evil King Hyperion, he doesn’t know where the bow is.  Fortunately, he has the oracle (the ludicrous Freida Pinto) that can lead him to it.  Unfortunately, he loses her to our hero Theseus and his fellow slave comrades (includes Stephen Dorff's very cool Stavros).  Through a series of events, he regains it and Theseus has his work cut out to get it back… can he get it back before  the Titans are unleashed and all hell rains down upon the Heavens and the Earth?

Mickey Rourke in my opinion was perfect as King Hyperion.  There’s nothing sensitive or even remotely good about him (you’ll have to see the movie to find out why).  I found his actions quite disturbing at times – the scene of the roasting giant silver bull and the screams coming from it will send shivers down your spine. 

Henry Cavill played Theseus as a vintage hero (think a cooler Harry Hamlin).  He smiles and laughs something few heroes these days do.  Which is why I like him.

I already said Freida Pinto was ludicrous… women should not be allowed to speak in these movies unless they are useful.  She quickly outgrew her usefulness.

It is however Luke Evans (I think we all know how much I like him – see The Three Musketeers) who once again stood out to me.  People have commented that he should have been bigger in his muscularity.  As a woman, I can say it was not necessary.  Muscularity is not everything.  Luke Evans commanded the screen as Zeus, whether he was talking or fighting.  And that is what a good Zeus needs.  Command.  He showed many sides of Zeus – the loving and tender side, along with the angry wrathful.  Something Henry Cavill’s Thesus, did not quite reach effectively.  That doesn’t mean he was not a good Theseus.
There were a few things I was disappointed in... The first being Stephen McHattie's Cassander.  I know he's getting on a bit in age, but I'd still wager given the right script and look, he could eat Mickey Rourke for breakfast.  Therefore, I'd say bad casting.

What disappointed me most were the Titans… dark creatures that yes, are fun to watch but do not deserve the title of Titans.  If you know your history the Titans included the likes of Cronos – Zeus’ father.  Had they introduced the Titans in this format, a sequel would have been a lot more interesting.

That being said, the final battle raging in the Heavens is a great way to lead to a sequel (should the powers that be grant it to us).   With the promise of more Gods and of course more Zeus (as long as it’s played by Luke Evans)… I’ll be sitting here impatiently waiting for it.  Waits.