New Year's Eve (2011) **

I don't know where to begin with this... atrocity?  That's the first descriptive word that comes to mind.
Gary Marshall, who usually delivers excellent chick flicks, has for some reason decided to punish us with this... thing.  A very forced, not very funny (generally speaking) and occasionally excruciating thing.  There were times where I had to close my eyes really tight and pretend I was somewhere else (my preference was Immortals-verse) mostly when Lea Michele was on screen.  I especially cannot stand her face when she sings.

So, for those of you that loved (or just liked in my case) Valentine's Day, the returning actors and actresses play completely different roles.  This offering has nothing to do with Valentine's Day.

I'll start with the stories/characters I hated/disliked the most.

Ashton Kutcher's depressed, New Year's hater, gets stuck in an elevator with Lea Michele.  So any excuse for Lea Michele to sing.  Boring! Unless you are a Glee fan that is... in which case *thumbs up* awesome!

Hilary Swank almost screws up New Year's for the entire world by not dropping "the ball!"
I just think Swank is suited to the serious roles/movies and she excels at that during the more serious aspects of her story.  Otherwise, it just looks like she's constipated most of the time.  She cannot do airy, sweet roles.

Katherine Heigl is messing with Jon Bon Jovi's head.  He had apparently dumped her the previous New Year's Eve.  And that's all I have to say about that.

Elsewhere, Sarah Jessica Parker is trying to stop her rebellious teen (Abigail Breslin) from attending the New Year's event in New York City alone.  Ok, that last one was a good story, had they just left SJP there.

Josh Duhammel (who really should have been paired with his When in Rome co-star, Kristen Bell.  It's a travesty she wasn't in it.  Would have enjoyed it a lot more.) is contemplating whether to meet last year's mystery lady.

Now for my likes / favourites.  Robert DeNiro was sweet, sad and just beautiful especially as his cancer riddled character deteriorated.  Keep the tissues handy for this one.

The excellent Michelle Pfeiffer is working to honour every last one of her previous resolutions with the aid of the increasingly talented Zac Effron (never thought I'd say that!), both of whom, hilariously stay in character throughout the outtakes.

The pregnancy story involves two expecting couples.  One couple is played by Jessica Biel and Seth Meyers. And the other is played by the hilarious Til Schweiger and Sarah Paulson.  Both continuously harass Carla Gugino to induce the births of their children to coincide with the New Year, so that they can win some cash.
Cue insanity... which Til Schweiger excels at.

Speaking of fun crazy... Sofia Vergara with a little help from a very Indian Russell Peters steals the entire movie whenever they deign to let her show up, completely upstaging both Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi.  She made me fall in love with her!

And finally, our Gary Marshall favourites.  Hector Elizondo and Larry Miller... both hysterical and both cruelly relegated to the background.  In fact, some of the best characters were relegated to just that.  Which is ridiculous as they were the ones that provided the most warmth and laughter.

So folks, if you want to waste your money, go ahead and watch.  Or, if you have patience and still want to waste your time, wait until it's shown on tv.