This Means War (2012) **

Oh dear… where should I begin?  This means War is quite a bit of a mess, which is sad, as I was really looking forward to a good Action Comedy.  I’m not going to say it was all bad.  The man candy was obviously going to be the main draw – and one in which they succeeded in.  But overall – very messy.

The film is about two very appealing CIA agents – Chris Pine’s FDR and Tom Hardy’s Tuck – who decide to wage war against each other for the affections of Reese Witherspoon’s Lauren… after realising that they are both dating her.

Somewhere in there, FDR and Tuck are also trying to thwart Til Schweiger’s bad guy.  I honestly can’t remember what sort of a baddie he was.  He turns up at the beginning, disappears – only to reappear somewhere in the middle to look a little menacing - disappears again, only to once again return for an action packed finale.  I do believe this plot (subplot?) was relegated to the background.  Which again is sad – Til Schweiger is quite man candy-ish too!

Maybe the film would have been better if there had been an iota of chemistry between Witherspoon and either one of the leads.  As it turns out, the only chemistry seemed to have been between Pine and Hardy. 

I’m sure this film would have been absolutely brilliant if the focus had been on FDR and Tuck’s ‘Brolationship,’ rather than trying to force Witherspoon’s cuteness when her character actually came off as irritating, hypocritical and quite frankly – slutty, instead.

Conversely, Chelsea Handler, as  Lauren’s loud mouthed and obnoxious friend was quite likable.  Well… she had me smirking and sniggering throughout - and a little grossed out in one scene.

The best scenes without a doubt though, were those between Pine and Hardy.  And as the film went on, they just seemed to get better and funnier.  Hardy was the one that surprised me the most.  We all knew Pine could do comedy (see Just my Luck, Star Trek), but I’m used to seeing Hardy in serious roles such as Bronson or Wuthering Heights.  I never knew he had the ability to make me descend in to hysterical laughter.  One scene where Tuck and FDR jump up and down like excited girly-girls had me in stitches!

The little reference to Star Trek – everyone would have got that, what with Chris Pine’s role as Kirk.  I sniggered not just because I got that reference, but also because Hardy is also part of the Trekkie franchise!

However, and this is more of a pondering than a complaint.  When our two hunks fight, I can’t help but think that if this was real, Hardy would probably rip off Pine’s head with the greatest of ease… which is probably why I wasn’t too excited in this face-off.  It’s not Hardy’s fault - he just has a naturally powerful presence that he can’t help.  But they are both still adorable… in a ‘I could kill you in a 100 different ways’ kind of sweet.

And what was with the camera shaking?!  Enough already... If a fight ensues – you do not need to have the camera shake!  Especially not for this sort of movie!  Sheesh!

So, in a nutshell, if Withspoon’s scenes had been shortened - or better still her character replaced by an unknown and then her scenes shortened in combination with the emphasis on FDR and Tuck’s relationship… oh and some more focus on the thwarting of the baddie, we would have had the makings of a potentially perfect film. 

Which, basically means – wait until this is released on DVD… then you can fast forward the useless rubbish and enjoy the fun bits.