Bullet to the Head (2013)****

So, having seen Bullet to the Head, I can now say Sylvester Stallone is king of the action genre.  He blew old Arnie and his Last Stand completely out of the water!

I say he’s king, but I have yet to see Bruce’s latest instalment of Die Hard… I’m still going with Sly is King though.

Sly’s latest action contribution pairs his hitman James Bonomo (Bobo) with naïve, by the book and slightly irritating cop, Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang).  After Bobo and his partner (Jon Seda’s Louis) are set up and Louis is dispatched unceremoniously by Jason Momoa’s Keegan, Bobo and Kwon search for the culprits (off the books of course).

As they climb the hierarchy of criminals, they develop an uneasy but hysterical alliance with old Sly stealing all the best lines… and scenes. Not to mention he looks absolutely fantastic for his age!  And yes, he may be old for all this running around and bad-assery – but he still looks good doing it.  And you don’t really doubt his ability to kick butt, until he goes up against Keegan.  Clearly, there’s no way Stallone could beat the behemoth that is Momoa’s 6’4, solidly built monster.  Something that is highlighted when he picks up Bobo’s daughter (Sarah Shahi) like a rag doll – a subtly funny scene.  But they address that fact, so no need to worry.

Of course with all action flicks, there are downsides.  And this is no exception. 

The biggest issue I have with the action genre is it’s inability to do the female lead any justice.  You can put all the tattoos you like on a woman, but if she doesn’t have the presence – she’s just plain annoying.  Granted there have been far more annoying women who have preceded Shahi, she’s still annoying. This is where Schwarzenneger’s The Last Stand actually wins over Sly’s ‘Bullet’.  Schwarzenneger had Jaimie Alexander – a born action star.  You look at her and you’re immediately reminded of a young hard as nails Linda Hamilton.  In fact, I’d say Alexander is far more capable.  If I were Stallone, I’d try and poach her for the next Expendables flick, or keep her in mind for future action movies.  It’s the one thing Schwarzenneger movies will always beat Stallone films at.  But I digress.

 Another annoying factor is Kwon.  It’s just plain irritating.  This factor could have been slightly remedied if he had been given more action scenes – he’s clearly capable.

But I guess, they wanted him to be the young buck who needs to learn a thing or two from the old ‘bad guy’ who he’s far too obsessed with taking down.  Indeed, I frequently rolled by eyes and groaned out loud at his stupid antics.

Oh… and then there’s the big bad- Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje.  A man who’s presence is clearly wasted (see his performance in Oz).  But he makes up for it with his outrageous creepy bad guy turn.  I can say the same for Christian Slater.  The latter will leave you sniggering incoherently during a particular torture scene.

But Momoa and Stallone were my favourite aspects of the movie.  Stallone has really been showing his genius when it comes to his genre by casting or working with the next best crop of action stars.  Momoa is one of them.  You look at him and you know he’s one person that you do not want to trifle with.  And if you don’t believe me, check out Game of Thrones.

So really, it doesn’t matter what the plot is (even if it is handled well), Bullet to the Head succeeded as soon you heard its name.  The name itself, gives you a clue to the nature and carnage (yay carnage!) to come.  It leaves no prisoners and comes hard and fast with the action, the lines and the old man jokes.